easy, breezy and beautiful in contemporaneity

Where has my patience gone?
Where has my ability to deal with frustration gone?
Everything's long gone
and yet I am more resilient
But was life worse and in being worse made those things seem less frustrating
or was it just me that changed?
Have I become more contemporary and likewise unable to deal with expectation
or have I become sick at heart?
Have the heights become less attractive
or is it leaping that has lost its attractiveness?
When did I stop falling?
Falling in love?
Falling out?
Falling for something?
Was it the moment I landed?
Have I landed?
And - if so - am I dead?
MAYBE I'm a phantom
and that would explain the easiness, the breezyness and beautifulness that surround me lately

But is it really so?
Is it possible to remain easy, breezy and beautiful permanently?
If even the seasons change
If even the trees lose their leaves
Isn't it only natural that we lose it too?
And I think I've lost it.
And perhaps the easiness is due to having nothing left.
Nothing left.
I am empty.
But there's also the anxiety.
That's never really left me.
I might have become the anxiety, since it's everything that is left.
But it's not killing me either: as I said before, I am a lot more resilient
Anyway
I spent a week being easy, breezy and beautiful and i was sucessful in that
and it might be that winter has come
in this contemporary era seasons come and go a lot faster than they used to
so I'll go with the flow
...and all because of a kiss!
Just because I've lost my ability of being patient.
But resilient.
Tomorrow I'll be ok.
Tomorrow it is spring.